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Myths and Legends

Jason Weiser tells stories from myths, legends, and folklore that have shaped cultures throughout history. Some, like the stories of Aladdin, King Arthur, and Hercules are stories you think you know, but with surprising origins. Others are stories you might not have heard, but really should. All the stories are sourced from world folklore, but retold for modern ears. These are stories of wizards, knights, Vikings, dragons, princesses, and kings from the time when the world beyond the map was a dangerous and wonderful place.
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Now displaying: 2017
Aug 16, 2017

Hey! Have you subscribed to Fictional? Go subscribe to Fictional! You'll love it, and it will be an amazingly huge help to us. Thank you!!

You can find it at:

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Medusa is probably the most misunderstood villain in all of Greco-Roman Mythology, famous only for being a monster...and the hero's quest to kill her. We'll learn all about her background and follow the quest of one fated to clash with her. Also this is Greek mythology so everyone is terrible all the time always.

The creature this week is the floating head and he's kind of like Pac-man...if Pac-man had a taste for people and delicious chestnuts.

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Sponsors:

Lootcrate! The theme for this month's crate is Kingdom, with stuff from Adventure Time, Lord of the Rings, and the Legend of Zelda. Check out http://www.lootcrate.com/legends code LEGENDS, to get $3 off any new subscription today.

Spotify: My preferred way of listening to podcasts, check out spotify.com/podcasts to get started there today.

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Music:

"Toppler" by Blue Dot Sessions

"Soothe" by Blue Dot Sessions

"Seamless" by Blue Dot Sessions

"Partly Sage" by Blue Dot Sessions

"Old Skin" by Podington Bear

"Little Dipper" by Podington Bear

"Astrisx" by Blue Dot Sessions

"Comet Trails" by Moon

"Orbs of Light" by Moon

 

 

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Disclaimer:

Non-graphic talk of Zeus impregnating a woman by turning into a shower of gold (?) and non-graphic talk of how Poseidon raped a woman and then the woman was blamed for it because she was irresistible.

Aug 9, 2017

We're back in the cold, unforgiving north, at the very beginning of Odin's reign. We'll see him meet a new friend while being completely unsuspicious in giant land, a threat come from another world to try to topple the Aesir, and the lengths Odin will go to in order to gain power, acquire knowledge, and thwart his coming doom.

The creature this week is an antlion. When a mommy ant and a daddy lion love each other very much, they think of ways to express their love and, well, you'll see...

Sponsors:

The Loot Crate this month just sounds awesome. The theme is Kingdom, with stuff from Lord of the Rings, Adventure Time, and Legend of Zelda. I know I'm excited about it. Check out http://www.lootcrate.com/legends (code LEGENDS) to get $3 off any new subscription

Our Casper is the most comfortable mattress we've ever had. Check out http://www.casper.com/legends to get $50 off your first order.

Music:

"The Nightmare" by Lee Rosevere

"Not Alone" by Lee Rosevere

"Sad Marimba Planet" by Lee Rosevere

"Twirl Into Insanity" by Keshco

"Decompression" by Blue Dot Sessions

"Bogero" by Blue Dot Sessions

"Pukae" by Blue Dot Sessions

"Midday" by Blue Dot Sessions

"Sunset at Goat Fell" by Graham Bole

"Rooftop" by Jahzzar

Aug 2, 2017

Starting at the beginning of the universe and going to the beginning of the epic and mildly disturbing battles between Set and his nephew Horus, Egyptian mythology is epic, funny, interesting, and bizarre. It's taken way too long to get into this mythology, and I'm excited to dive in.

The creature has no problem diving in...to your mouth. As a newt. Things really only go downhill from there.

Check out http://www.blueapron.com/legends (code LEGENDS) to get your first three meals free from Blue Apron!

Music:

 

Jul 26, 2017

The story of a dark (well, dark-ish. Actually, kind of not even that. You'll see.) prophecy, a kingdom overrun by monsters (again, kind of), and one woman's globe spanning quest to do what's right (that's pretty much correct). Also, pig plague parties are only fun if you're a talking swine with a moderately sinister agenda.

The creature this time is the Alkutane, from the folklore of the Pacific Northwest, in the US. These creatures will leave fun little baubles by your ear. Oops. My bad, I meant to say bubbles. Bubbles filled with your undigested brains. And they're not fun.

Sponsors:

Simplisafe! I have, no joke, been using Simplisafe for over a year. It's a fantastic system where you don't have to have someone come out to your house and try to hard sell you on a security system and then lock you in to a contract for years. You set it up yourself, it uses its own cellular signal with a battery backup (in case the power goes out) so you don't need to get an expensive hardwired phone line to your house, and all for $15 a month. Check it out at https://www.simplisafe.com/listen for $100 off the special Safeguard package.

Music:

"Vanagon" by Podington Bear

"Trellis" by Podington Bear

"TrailwaysA" by Podington Bear

"Bambi" by Podington Bear

"Daemones" by Kai Engel

"Modum" by Kai Engel

"Locked Up" by Fleslit

"Cach" by Blue Dot Sessions

Jul 19, 2017

The story of Atalanta is one of the woman who just couldn't be stopped...and of a world that had a big, big problem with that. Giant monster fights, meddling gods, and well-known heroes make an appearance in the story of a heroine who just can't be kept down.

The creature this week is Al, from North Africa, and he's a great reason to not run with scissors.

Sponsors:

Check out "By the Same Relentless Enemy" by Keith Goad, a supernatural thriller. You can find it at http://a.co/1bIj9bE on Amazon, or by going to http://www.relentlessenemy.com

RXBAR Kids: These delicious bars are actually full of good stuff. Check them out at Target or at http://www.rxbar.com/legends and use code LEGENDS at checkout for 25% off your first order.

Music:

"Gringo Steele Rocks the 40" by Rolemusic

"Death on the Battlefield" by Rolemusic

"Seventh Hill" by Podington Bear

"Vengeful" by Blue Dot Sessions

"Tuck and Point" by Blue Dot Sessions

"The Cast and Favor" by Blue Dot Sessions

"Set the Tip Jar" by Blue Dot Sessions

"Mercurial Vision" by Blue Dot Sessions

"Lemon and Melon" by Blue Dot Sessions

"Andelo" by Blue Dot Sessions

Jul 12, 2017

The story of Pecos Bill is that of a true American Hero...who spends half the story naked and who legitimately thinks he is actually a coyote. But don't tell him that. He's cool and won't hurt you, but you'll get into a long discussion and won't actually convince him or his horse (named Pegasus/Widowmaker/Jeremy) that he's actually a human being. Also, while we're at it, he can lasso water and air because I guess when you ask the audience to suspend disbelief, you go for broke.

The creature this time is the Mongolian Death Worm. It's a sand worm, but don't go getting your maker hooks just yet, because it's no Shai Hulud. And that's a problem, because instead of the spice melange that will give you longevity and maybe prescience, it spits a virulent neurotoxin that will do precisely the exact opposite.

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Sponsors:

Loot Crate: as usual, Loot Crate offers awesome, monthly subscription boxes full of epic and exclusive gear and collectables. This month the theme is animation, and subscribe by the 19th and 9pm PST to get stuff from Rick and Morty, Bob's Burgers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Futurama! Head over to http://www.lootcrate.com/legends (code LEGENDS) to subscribe today.

Also, check out LeVar Burton Reads! It's at https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/levar-burton-reads/id1244649384?mt=2 for Apple Podcasts and http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/stitcher/levar-burton-reads for Stitcher.

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Music:

"Vibrant Canopy"

"Seamless"

"Scraper"

"Opener"

"Moon Bicycle Theme"

"Middle"

"Gondola Blue"

"Doubled"

"An Introduction to Beetles"

by Blue Dot Sessions

Jul 5, 2017

The story of Sentaro the millionaire* is about a man with a dream. Well, not really a dream, but a deep, abiding fear of death. Soon, he becomes so obsessed with avoiding the inevitable that it leads him on a journey across Japan and later the world to find a way to avoid that which will come to us all.

The creatures this time are from the US and one will "please and excite" you in the forest...then lure you back to its place where it will turn you into an electric eel burrito.

*Sentaro is not a millionaire and really not very smart at all.

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Sponsors:

Blue Apron! Want excellent quality, fresh, seasonal ingredients delivered to your door (who doesn't, though)? Check out http://www.blueapron.com/legends to get your first three meals free, with free shipping.

Thumbtack: From swimming/piano lessons to a new roof, you can find the right pros on Thumbtack.com. Fast quotes, and no need to put your e-mail or phone number out there to figure out how much something will cost.

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Music:

"Waltz and Fury" by Blue Dot Sessions

"Tralaga" by Blue Dot Sessions

"Twosome" by Podington Bear

"Spring Comes Early" by Podington Bear

"Big Blue" by Podington Bear

"Norvik" by Blue Dot Sessions

"Drone Pine" by Blue Dot Sessions

"Chilvat" by Blue Dot Sessions

Jun 28, 2017

A young woman's father is taken, and she decided to go to the edges of the known world to get him back, to a faraway island harboring a dark and terrible secret.

The creature this week is skunk ape! He's 0% skunk, 0% ape, and 100% into stealing your produce.

Sponsors:

Carvana: now you can buy a car online and either have it delivered to you (yes) or go pick it up from a car vending machine (an even bigger yes). Check out http://www.carvana.com/legends (code LEGENDS) for more info.

Away: The suitcase that powered our store at a con and the only one I have that I trust with our expensive sound equipment. Seriously, it's a well-designed, sturdy, and smart piece of luggage that you will wonder how you lived without. Check out http://www.awaytravel.com/legends

Music:

"Two Dollar Token" by Blue Dot Sessions
"These Times" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Slow Casino" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Yellow Dust" by Rolemusic
"In My Head" by Podington Bear
"Down and Around" by Podington Bear
"Cylinder Six" by Chris Zabriskie
"Cylinder Five" by Chris Zabriskie
"Drone Thistle" by Blue Dot Sessions
"What Does Anybody Know About Anything" by Chris Zabriskie

Jun 21, 2017

A sea horse (but not that type of sea horse) that haunts the coasts of Scotland, the kelpie is a legendary cryptid that represents the dangerous unknown of the water...as well as new guys stopping by your village for the sole purpose of picking up women.

The creature this time is the Shojo, a Japanese yokai, who is living its best life: by lounging on the beach drinking and pulling off daring heists.

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That incredibly readable book on Celtic myths and legends: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0786711078/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_dp_T2_VOCszbY1WGRBD

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Sponsors:

Audible:

Check out http://www.audible.com/binge for a really great deal for a full year of Audible!


Dollar Shave Club: for a great shave at a great price, check out Dollar Shave Club at http://www.dollarshaveclub.com/legends for a $15 value for only $5. Get razors straight to your door whenever you want them.


Carvana: You can buy a car online! And pick it up as early as the next day! From a car vending machine (what?)! Check out http://www.carvana.com/legends for more info.

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Music:

 “Closer” by Blue Dot Sessions

“Cottonwoods” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Dirtbike Lovers” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Drch” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Flaked Paint” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Mknt” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Tensor” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“The Big Ten” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Turning on the Lights” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Halter Top” by Podington Bear
 
“Rain On Glass” by Podington Bear
 
“Satellite Bloom” by Podington Bear
Jun 14, 2017

If you've ever wondered about giving that strange old man a piggy-back ride in the woods, the philosophical nuances of way too much grave robbing, or how many people are necessary to take down a four-story-tall baby bird, well, then this is the episode for you. Sinbad finishes up his epic tale of epicness and we see what led to him falling back on his plan "B" of living a life of leisure on his near-infinite wealth.

The creature this time is the reason you should take a giant bat with you everywhere you go.

Sponsors:

Casper Mattresses. They are really comfortable mattresses that you will miss when you are away from home and want to letters to telling them such but that would be for naught because mattresses don't possess thumbs or sentience. If you want to give this whole "amazingly comfortable mattress" thing a try, you can for 100 days risk free at home. Check out casper.com/legends (code LEGENDS) to get $50 off a mattress purchase.

Dollar Shave Club. You can get razors for only a few dollars a month. They are super-smooth, close shaves and you don't even need to leave your house to get them. Well, the razors, that is. You generally don't leave your house to shave. Unless you're stately, plump Buck Mulligan shaving on the roof. Don't be Buck Mulligan, though. That guy was a jerk. If you're interested in really great razors and not hassling tortured artists, check out dollarshaveclub.com/myths. You can get a $15 value for only $5.

Music:

“Decompression” by Blue Dot Sessions

“Liptis” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Sunday Lights” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Toppler” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Across the River” by Podington Bear
 
“All the Ways” by Podington Bear
 
“Just Watching” by Podington Bear

 

Jun 7, 2017

Whether it's deadly literary references, sticky cows, or extremely inappropriate eulogies, the stories of Sinbad have it all...as long as by "it all" you're looking for a story of how a rich (and, let's face it, not-so-smart) guy for whom everything pretty much always works out. It's like Mr. Magoo without the nearsightedness and with much, much more impalement and cannibalism.

The creature the creature this week is a great excuse to keep your house well-stocked with red peppers and pet crabs.

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Sponsors:

Blue Apron: For fun, fresh ingredients and recipes delivered to your house weekly, check out http://www.blueapron.com/legends to get your first three meals free with free shipping.

Loot Crate: The theme for June is alter-ego, with stuff from Spider-man, the Hulk, DC Comics, and more. Be sure to subscribe at http://www.lootcrate.com/legends (code LEGENDS) by the 19th at 9PM PST.!

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The clip from Planet Earth II: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3OjfK0t1XM

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Music:

“Patched In” by Blue Dot Sessions

“Brass Buttons” by Blue Dot Sessions

“Diner Gothic - Dasher” by Blue Dot Sessions

"Downhill Racer” by Blue Dot Sessions

“Floor Shine” by Blue Dot Sessions

“Inventio” by Blue Dot Sessions

“Midday” by Blue Dot Sessions

“Slider” by Blue Dot Sessions

“Sweetly” by Blue Dot Sessions

“Wax Paper Jewel” by Blue Dot Sessions

“Gorgon” by Jesse Spillane

“Harbor” by Kai Engel

“Front Runner” by Podington Bear
May 31, 2017

Sinbad (no, not that Sinbad) is probably the 3rd most famous story from a collection titled "One Thousand and One Nights". It's a story of loss, hardship, and redemption...and then partying so hard that you forget all that loss, hardship, and redemption and need to do it all over again. Six more times. On the plus side, it's not just about an out-of-touch rich guy being out-of-touch and rich, but being so while experiencing some pretty weird stuff.

The creature this time is an awkwardly hot squirrel thing who wants to cram a metaphor about pride down your throat.

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Sponsors:

Think you know a place? Well, how about you try the Detour app and see if you really know a place. It's a guided audio tour through cities where Radiolab, Ken Burns, and others take your through their favorite neighborhoods and you learn all the fun, interesting details you had no idea were all around you. Better yet, go with friends and everyone can listen to the same one at the same time. Check out http://www.detour.com/myths for more info.

Dollar. Shave. Club. It's high quality razors and shave butter right to your door for only a few bucks a month. The executive razor is well worth it, but you can put their name to the test and get a razor for a dollar a month (plus shipping). Check out http://www.dollarshaveclub.com/legends for more info on that.

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Music:

“Hickory Interlude” by Blue Dot Sessions

“Plaque” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Colocate” by Podington Bear
 
“Oui” by Podington Bear
 
“Pure Swell” by Podington Bear
 
“Streetbeat Heat” by Podington Bear
 
“Transmogrify” by Podington Bear
May 24, 2017

It seems like with a lot of fairy tales someone looked at the original, thought that there was absolutely no way they could tell that to a child, and re-wrote it to get rid of the shocking violence and general terribleness of every creature ever. "The Ugly Duckling" by Danish writer Hans Christian Andersen is no exception. It's shockingly violent and sad at times, but underneath its brutality and ridiculousness is a profound theme that still resonates today. Also birds are jerks.

The creature this time is the Loveland Frog. It's a large-ish frog from my hometown in Ohio. Ohio is so boring we can't even have a cool cryptid.

Sponsors:

Three words: FRONT. POCKET. WALLET. Get one, and say goodbye to an achey back from sitting at an angle all the time. Not only that, but they are hard to pickpocket. Not only THAT, but they are RFID shielded, meaning people can't scan your pocket and get your credit card info. Also, they come in cool leathers, like moose. Really, check it out. The owner is a friend of the show and a regular listener. Go to http://rogueindustries.com and use code LEGENDS at checkout for free shipping.

Dollar Shave Club: For just $5, you can get their top-of-the-line razor and a tube of shave butter (which unlike the Seinfeld episode isn't real butter and won't lead to Newman taking a bite out of you). Just go to https://dollarshaveclub.com/myths 

Detour: I've always wondered what I'm missing out on when I'm walking through a city. Now, there's a way to know. Guided tours right on your phone that you can share with friends. Check out http://detour.com/myths

Music:

“Just a Blip” by Andy G. Cohen

 
“Warmer” by Andy G. Cohen
 
“Faster Faster Brighter” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Parade Shoes” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Rafter” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Tripoli” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Like Starlight through a Veil” by Philipp Weigl
 
“Midnight Blue” by Podington Bear
May 17, 2017

Don't, under any circumstances, trust the Midas touch. The king of unforced errors, Midas is a well-known figure in mythology mainly because of horrible decision making and lack of foresight. They say any publicity is good publicity, and I hope that is the case for Midas, who took a bad choice and used it to propel himself to everlasting notoriety.

Mouse bears. The creatures this week are mouse bears. They have the ferocity of bears and the ability to sneak into your cupboards like mice. Needless to say, they're super annoying.

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Sponsors!

Loot Crate: May's theme is Guardians, with stuff from Guardians of the Galaxy 2, Star Wars, Destiny, and Goonies. Go to http://www.lootcrate.com/legends and use code LEGENDS to get $3 off any new subscription today.

Blue Apron: Like fresh, great quality ingredients and fun recipes and not having to go anywhere for fresh, great quality ingredients and fun recipes? Blue Apron is your thing. Check out http://www.blueapron.com/legends code LEGENDS to get your first three meals free, with free shipping.

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Music:

“Bitter Roll” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Floating Whist” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Glass Runner” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Lead Shroud” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Pacing” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Sylvestor” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Town Market” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Bagd” by Podington Bear
 
“Breadtime” by by Podington Bear
 
“Many Hands” by Podington Bear
 
“Swimmy” by Podington Bear
May 10, 2017

Wrapping up this two-part series on Morgan le Fay, we'll see her devious schemes within schemes come to fruition with one aim in mind: killing King Arthur and seizing the throne for herself.

The creature this week is fish man, from Spain. He's kind of like a superhero if all superheroes did was lay around and drink wine at their parents' house.

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Sponsors:

Hey, so Mother's Day is this weekend. As in three days from today. Still looking for something? You can show your mom you're thinking about her and you don't even have to look up from your phone. She doesn't have to know how easy it is and that it took basically no time. We won't tell her. We probably don't even know her. Unless this is Mike, in which case, hi Mike!

There are two excellent options:

Shari's Berries. Super easy. You know why? Because they somehow got the domain http://berries.com. They're delicious and they look fantastic. I got them for my mom on her birthday and my mother-in-law for Mother's Day. You can get her huge, freshly dipped berries starting at $19.99 plus shipping, and you can double the berries for $10. Just go to berries.com and use the code MAL when you click on the mic.

Or maybe flowers are your thing. Aren't you glad you listen to this podcast? We have you covered there, too. ProFlowers cracked the code on sending people fresh, beautiful flowers. Ours have been going strong for over a week - way longer than flowers from a supermarket or florist AND I am just realizing I forgot to change the water after three days like I was supposed to. They're that good. Check out http://proflowers.com and use the code MAL. 

Both are so easy, that in the time you took reading this you could have Mother's Day wrapped up. We're just looking out for you. Also please don't forget to use code MAL it keeps the lights on.

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Music:

“Lamplist” by Blue Dot Sessions

“One Needle” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Parissi” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Tuck and Point” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Please Listen Carefully” by Jahzzar
 
“60s Quiz Show” by Podington Bear
 
“A1 Rogue” by Podington Bear
 
“All The Colors In The World” by Podington Bear
 
“Canoe” by Podington Bear
 
“Climbing the Mountain” by Podington Bear
 
“Dulcet” by Podington Bear
 
“Loam” by Podington Bear
 
“Modest House” by Podington Bear
 
“Rythn” by Podington Bear
 
May 3, 2017

Sorceress. Confidant. Traitor. Sister.

All of those words describe Morgan Le Fay, King Arthur's half-sister. She is by far the most complex character I've come across in the Arthurian legends, but she's constantly portrayed in the medieval and early modern texts as a one-note traitorous baddy who is evil because she's an evil sorceress and evil sorceresses are evil. If you're familiar with the legends, you're going to see a Morgan you've never seen before. If you're not, get ready to meet one of the most interesting, tragic figures you'll come across.

Sponsors:

The Great Courses Plus: Go to http://thegreatcoursesplus.com/myths to get a free trial of The Great Courses Plus, and while you’re there, check out the course “Fundamentals of Photography."

Loot Crate: Here's the link for the Groot I was talking about. This 22" figure will be in the one mega crate sent out to a lucky subscriber. The rest of us will have to settle for a bunch of cool pop culture stuff worth twice what we paid for it. Darn. Check out http://www.lootcrate.com/legends code LEGENDS for $3 off any new subscription.

Music:

“Malachite” by Andy G. Cohen
 
“Watching from Red Hill” by Artofescapism
 
“Disinter” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“The Face of the Thrush” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Take Me Higher” by Jahzzar
 
“Snowmen” by Kai Engel
 
“Even when we fall” by Philipp Weigl
 
“The Scent of Cedars” by Philipp Weigl
 
“60s Quiz Show” by Podington Bear
 
“Fits” by Podington Bear
 
“Pop Brasilia” by Podington Bear
 
“Seventh Hill” by Podington Bear
 
“Starday” by Podington Bear
 
“Toboggan (Smooth Run)” by Podington Bear
 
“Trader Ho Hey” by Podington Bear
Apr 26, 2017

I wanted to name this episode "it's not easy being green," but it really is. The Green Knight had his head chopped off last episode...but still carried it out of the most uncomfortable Christmas dinner ever. Really, it's not easy being Gawain, who has to go present his neck in payment. Except it really is easy being Gawain. Most of this episode will consist of him sleeping until noon in a fancy castle. But he still has that date with destiny on New Year's Day...and by "destiny" I mean a hairy green gentleman who is really good at pole vaulting.

If you disrespect the hobbies of the creatures this week, they will make your life mildly uncomfortable for like an evening. You've been warned.

Sponsors:

Check out http://www.blueapron.com/legends to try the #1 food and recipe delivery service. Be sure to use LEGENDS to get your first three meals free!

Texture is pretty great. You can read over 200 magazines all for the price of subscriptions to 2-3 magazines. It's a great deal and an even better app, and you can try it for two weeks for free at http://www.texture.com/myths

Music:

“A Perceptible shift” by Andy G. Cohen
 
“Monkeybars” by Andy G. Cohen
 
“Curious Case” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Felt Lining” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“PolyCoat” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Tiny Putty” by Blue Dot Sessions
 
“Chance” by Kai Engel
 
“Run” by Katie Engel
 
“Scenery” by Kai Engel
 
“Love Wins” by Lee Rosevere
 
“Bloomer” by Podington Bear
 
“Dark Disco” by Podington Bear
 
“Funk” by Podington Bear
 
“Guestlist” by Podington Bear
 
“Little Black Cloud” by Podington Bear
 
“We Make a Good Team” by Podington Bear
 
“Wednesday Night Flavor” by Podington Bear
Apr 19, 2017

You probably had to read the story of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight in high school. I know I did, and it's a great story. There are beheadings, green guys, confusing interactions with ladies. It might be one of the most violent non-Die Hard Christmas stories. Anyway, everyone knows that. You probably don't know the story I'll tell today. It's of how Gawain grew into the paragon of virtue he's known as in the legends. It involves, of course, dog parties, inept knights, and the most grotesque piece of neckwear we will ever talk about on this podcast.

The creature is a bunch of tiny guys who want to hang out in your room and dance, as long as you're cool with it. Just kidding - they don't care if you're cool with it.

 

Music:

"Quiet Still"

"Plaque"

"Pick up the Tempo"

"Marble Transit"

"Chapel Bottom"

"Drifting Spade"

by Blue Dot Sessions

 

"Flapjacks"

"Bumble"

"Mutinee"

"Springtime"

by Podington Bear

Apr 12, 2017

You know how to make your stories completely resistant to any ridicule from a future podcaster? Make them as ridiculous as possible. The stories of Paul Bunyan arose from the camps of lumberjacks in the US in the 1880s, but he spread to be a nationwide symbol of American strength and a pioneer spirit. Except that a lot of what we know about Paul Bunyan might actually not be folklore, but stories made up to sell stuff. Also, if someone tells you to put something up your nose that feels like bees and lightning, just say no.

Sponsors:

Loot Crate this month looks amazing. Batman, Jessica Jones, Stranger Things, and X-files are all fantastic franchises, and I'm super excited for it. You should check it out, too. You can get $3 off your first month by going to http://www.lootcrate.com/legends and entering the promo code "LEGENDS"

The Great Courses Plus: Text MYTHS to 86329 to get a free trial of The Great Courses Plus, and while you’re there, check out the course “Great Mythologies of the World”.  (Standard message and data rates apply.)

Music:

"Nothing will grow here"

"Wake up, heroic figure"

"Fight the apocalypse but before a quick nap"

"STOP TALKING AND MOVING"

by Komiku

 

"Goodnight Esme"

"Three Kites Circling"

by Axletree

Apr 5, 2017

The story of Oedipus is fun until it isn't. I've met people with varying degrees of familiarity with the story. Some are familiar only with the central premise of the story, while others' knowledge only extends to a certain disgusting little complex popularized by a similarly-disgusting Viennese psychologist. Regardless, the story of Oedipus is a fascinating commentary on fate, our willing blindness to uncomfortable truths, and why you should, under no circumstances, talk to prophets. Seriously, they will mess up your life.

The creature this week is the Tanuki from Japan, with two big surprises for you.

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Sponsors:

Loot Crate this month looks amazing. Batman, Jessica Jones, Stranger Things, and X-files are all fantastic franchises, and I'm super excited for it. You should check it out, too. You can get __ off your first month by going to http://www.lootcrate.com/legends and entering the promo code "LEGENDS"

Casper is, hands down, the best mattress I've ever slept on. To try it risk-free for 100 nights with free shipping and free returns in the US and Canada, go to http://www.casper.com/legends and enter the code "LEGENDS" at check out.

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Music:

"Skeptic"

"Modest House"

"In My Head"

"A1 Rogue"

by Podington Bear

 

"Readers Do You Read"

"Wonder Cycle"

"Everybody's Got Problems that Aren't Mine"

by Chris Zabriskie

 

"Seeker" by Kai Engel

"Mogul" by Blue Dot Sessions

"Plaster Combo" by Blue Dot Sessions

Mar 22, 2017

The story of the frog prince is well known - a beautiful princess meets a frog, kisses him, and he turns out to be a prince. Except, in the earliest version, it doesn't go like that at all. I won't spoil it, but the original frog prince is extremely bizarre, and I had the most fun writing it of any episode so far.

The second story is of a frog princess, from Russian folklore, and not only is it a great story in its own right, with a stupid king and a ridiculous dating service, but we'll catch back up with our favorite witch living in a house on chicken legs and a certain deathless sorcerer early in his career.

The creature of the week shoots hail out of its ears and kills anyone it sees...unless you're carrying a sack of llama fat.

Sponsors:

The Great Courses Plus: Text MYTHS to 86329 to get a free trial of The Great Courses Plus, and while you’re there, check out the course “Great Mythologies of the World”.  (Standard message and data rates apply.)

Stamps.com is AMAZING. I'm not joking. They make my life over at bardic.fm infinitely easier. If you want to make your life better, go to stamps.com and use the code LEGENDS.

Music:

"The Spinnet"

"The Silver Hatch"

"The Shoes they Wear"

"Filing Away"

"Decompression"

and "Brass Buttons" are all by Blue Dot Session


"Vanagon"

"Submerging Blue-Black"

"Trailways A"

"Smolder"

"Sensitive"

"Running on Empty"

and "Down and Around" are all by Podington Bear

"Final Sacrifice" by Visager

"Independent Film" by Steve Combs

Mar 15, 2017

The story of Puss is Boots is that of a cat who wears boots and talks. The character of the cat has somehow gone on to be voiced by Antonio Banderas, take part in a one really successful franchise, spin off into its own movie AND Netflix series. The 2011 movie alone went on to gross, and I'm not making this up, over half a billion dollars worldwide. The original is something you haven't heard before, and has ogre fights, a cat con artist, and dating advice from the Myths and Legends Podcast.*

The creature this week has the boring job of constantly trying to destroy the universe, but hey, it gets two weeks paid vacation a year.

Sponsors!

Text MYTHS to 86329 to get a free trial of The Great Courses Plus, and while you’re there, check out the course “Great Mythologies of the World”.  (Standard message and data rates apply.) 

Audible is pretty awesome. Go to http://www.audible.com/myths to get started today. Here's the link to Neil Gaiman's Norse Mythology

 

*Taking dating advice from the Myths and Legends Podcast is generally not advised.

Mar 8, 2017

Quite possibly the last episode on Norse mythology before we start on the epic showdown that is Ragnarok, this story has Thor earning a ridiculous facial feature and wetting himself in terror. Also, you shouldn't follow Loki into the wilderness, no matter how good the party he is telling you about sounds, and we'll learn how far is too far when it comes to idle, drunken boasts in the halls of the gods.

The creature is a sweet little flaming chicken who will steal for you and not feel bad about it at all. Oh, you have some moral issues with stealing? Well, the flaming chicken doesn't have moral issues with burning your house to the ground, so you might want to keep your compunctions to yourself.

Sponsors:

Check out http://www.blueapron.com/legends to get excellent, fresh, pre-portioned ingredients shipped to your home alongside recipes to turn them into amazing meals. Don't forget code LEGENDS.

For a new sponsor this time, we have The Great Courses Plus! Text MYTHS to 86329 to get a free trial of The Great Courses Plus, and while you’re there, check out the course “Great Mythologies of the World”.  (Standard message and data rates apply.) 

Music:

"Tiny Spoons" by Podington Bear

"Swapping Tubes" by Blue Dot Sessions

"Sreda Vniecaps" by Rolemusic

"Patched In" by Blue Dot Sessions

"Neil Takes Two" by Blue Dot Sessions

"Moonglow" by Podington Bear

"Firefly" by Podington Bear

"Fantasy" by Podington Bear

"Arame" by Blue Dot Sessions

"A Thought" by Podington Bear

"The Final Road" by Visager

Mar 1, 2017

According to folklore, King Solomon had a ring. Given to him by God, it allowed him control demons...but it also had some other powers unknown to Solomon, powers that make it essential for fighting dragons, escaping witches, and taking nice Sunday afternoon flights through the country. 

The creature is a shaggy, mostly-kind monster who is really great at walking on hillsides and really terrible at helping you hang pictures.

Sponsor:

Loot Crate: check out http://www.lootcrate.com/legends (Code: LEGENDS) for this month's Primal crate, with stuff from Overwatch, Wolverine, Jurassic World, and Predator

 

Feb 22, 2017

There has been a menace sleeping in Beowulf's homeland since he was born. It has lived for centuries, and it is strong and dangerous, while Beowulf has lived for only eighty years, and is weakening. Yet, their paths draw them inexorably toward one another in a battle that will live on in legend, but might destroy them both. 

The creature this week is why you should keep a giant vat of moonshine in your backyard.

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Career Day:

Career Day on iTunes: http://itunes.careerdayshow.com

Career Day everywhere else: http://www.careerdayshow.com

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Sponsors: 

http://www.stamps.com, and don't forget to use the code LEGENDS. Seriously, if you need stamps or postage for any reason, check out this site. They have made the Myths and Legends store possible.

As always, http://www.blueapron.com/legends is amazing. Use the code LEGENDS for your first three meals free with free shipping.

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"Another Beek Beep Beer Please" by Rolemusic

"The Dirty" by Podington Bear

"Bass Rider" by Podington Bear

"Moonsea" by Jelsonic

"Jettisoned" by Podington Bear

"Ice Cave" by Visager

"Wipe my Face Away" by Keshco

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