It's the end for Pinocchio. We left him last week the lead suspect in a murder investigation (no, I'm not joking), and we'll catch up to him on the beach, facing the authorities as he stands over the body with the murder weapon in hand.
Also a lot of other stuff happens. Like, way too much stuff, like deep-fried puppets, snail butlers, and sleazy millionaires. And that's just in the first half of the episode.
The creature this week is a gentleman who is so polite as to bow at every opportunity...but not so polite that he won't take every opportunity to fart out of his three anuses (still not joking).
Next week: we're working, but there won't be an episode. Looking to subject yourself to more of my voice? Check out our other show, Fictional, where we adapt stories from classic literature and excellent public domain works. Go to fictional.fm to listen or subscribe, or just search "Fictional" wherever you get your podcasts.
"Le Monstre" by Chad Crouch/Podington Bear
"Caterpillar Brigade" by Chad Crouch/Podington Bear
"Go To Sleep" by Chad Crouch/Podington Bear
"Stages of Awakening" by Chad Crouch/Podington Bear
"Blossoming" by Chad Crouch/Podington Bear
"Lamb and Wolf" by Chad Crouch/Podington Bear
"Bell Club" by Chad Crouch/Podington Bear
"Paper Boat" by Chad Crouch/Podington Bear
"Coopers Hawk" by Chad Crouch/Podington Bear
"Svela Tal" by Blue Dot Sessions
I wouldn't really call Pinocchio ill-fated. That implies that it's undeserved, and it's definitely not. The little guy lies like it's a second language. Regardless, a lot happens to our little buddy in this episode, starting with him coming back from the dead.
The creature this week is the Hai Ho Shang, a vicious merman from Chinese mythology who absolutely has some opinions on your dancing.
"Slow Dial" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Lakeside Path" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Arbinac" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Taoudella" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Plaque" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Our Names Engraved" by Blue Dot Sessions
"New Skin" by Chad Crouch
"Red-tailed Hawk" by Chad Crouch
Prison. Assassins. Marionette dance parties. The original story of Pinocchio has it all. Of course, you know of Pinocchio and Geppetto, but did you know that Geppetto, in order to get the wood to make Pinocchio, had to chew on an old man's wig? Or that the original story had a shockingly brutal end, even for an 1800s children's tale? Check it out. This story is wild.
The creature this time is a giant grasshopper who wants to have your kids over for dinner. And no, he's not being playfully ambiguous with that wording. He's going to eat your children and there's nothing you can do to stop him because he's a twelve foot tall grasshopper.
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"Anna's Hummingbird" by Chad Crouch
"Great Egret" by Chad Crouch
"Single Player" by Chad Crouch
"Staggering" by Chad Crouch
"Frogs in Tuxes" by Podington Bear
"Climbing the Mountain" by Podington Bear
"Little Black Cloud" by Podington Bear
"Puzzler" by Podington Bear
Thumbelina's life is already difficult. She lives in early modern Denmark and is no bigger than her mom's thumb. Oh, and also, everyone wants to marry her. And by everyone, I mean everyone. Frog moms want her to marry their sons and, somehow, the story gets stranger from there. In true Hans Christian Andersen fashion, this fairy tale for children about a girl being born from a flower and trying to find love contains kidnapping, death threats, crushing nihilism, and sleazy moles. Childhood was different back in the 1800s.
The creature are shrimp fries! But you have to act now or they'll be gone...oh, wait...no. My bad. They died 200 years ago.
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"Buzzy Minuet" by Chad Crouch
"De Facto" by Chad Crouch
"Platformer" by Chad Crouch
"Drawing Mazes" by Chad Crouch
"Idle Ways" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Uncertain Ground" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Velda Tallow" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Sal's Piano Solo" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Arbic Tallow" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Button" by Chad Crouch