If I could have just re-named myself in grade school, it probably would have been Finn MacCool. I mean, yeah, that's only an English transcription and it's actually spelled Fionn mac Cumhaill and it doesn't really mean "Cool guy named Finn" but, loosely, "Fair one who is the son of Cumhaill" but, you know, details.
Really, really stupid joking aside, today's story is awesome. It's parts tense human drama, revenge tale, and fantasy epic. It has young people trying to avenge their parents, giant monster fights, and, of course, a very smart fish. It's a two-parter, and it's been one of my favorite stories so far on this podcast.
The creature this week is a fire monster who likes to play with his food. Unfortunately, that involves flinging flaming heads at grieving families.
Check out our sponsor today: Credit Karma. I've been using them for years, and they're great. Go to http://www.creditkarma.com or check out their app to monitor your credit completely free.
"Cab Ride" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Cicle Deserrat" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Down by the Bank" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Invernen" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Headway" by Kai Engel
"Slum Canto" by Kai Engel
"Evermore" by Kai Engel
"Cold War Echo" by Kai Engel
Since Myths and Legends is off this week, I thought I would run an episode from our other show, Fictional. It's a podcast where we adapt and retell stories from all over fiction. Today's episode is part one of "The Time Machine" by H.G. Wells. If you're not already subscribed, this is a chance to check out the new show, and if you are, we'll see you next week with a new Myths and Legends!
Subscribe to Fictional:
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Here are the original shownotes for this episode:
"The Time Machine" is a book written by the father of science fiction, H.G. Wells. This is a book so famous that it actually coined the phrase "time machine" to refer to a machine that travels through time. It is a short but sprawling book, flinging mankind into the farthest future where we see how the consequences of our actions today can affect the world for millennia. It still holds up, too. It's a little more plot- and concept-heavy than today's novels, but it's a fascinating story full of interesting twists.
The villain this time is neither fascinating nor full of twists. He's a one-note idiot obsessed with returning to a past that never was.
Additional music by Breakmaster Cylinder
The story of a few violent, zombie-filled Christmases from Norse legend.
There are two creatures this week! The first is the gloso! A friendly little piggy who will stop by to say hi. Except if you forget her Christmas gift. Then she turns into a demon of the night with glowing red eyes. The other is the nisse, a gnome will merely beat you senseless for forgetting his gift. Basically just remember to get gifts for all the mythological creatures on your list.
"Anxiety" by Kai Engel
"Floret" by Kai Engel
"Delicant" by Podington Bear
"Morels" by Podington Bear
"Sorrento" by Podington Bear
"Steps" by Podington Bear
"Storm Passing" by Podington Bear
The Amazons are at the gates, and they want what they came for: the sister of the queen that was kidnapped by Theseus...but does Antiope, the Amazon, want to return? What will the horribly outmatched and, let's face it, outwitted Theseus do? How does this whole segment only take up 1/3 of the episode? We'll see on this week's thrilling conclusion to...last week's story.
The creature this week is why you don't want to go to that fun worm dance party on the beach. I know. We ruin everything.
Hello Fresh is del-li-cious. We've been eating Hello Fresh meals for weeks, and they are easy, awesome, and they're really mixing up our skills and tastes. Get $30 off your first order by going to http://hellofresh.com and using the code LEGENDS30
Loot Crate. Are you ready to explore? I'm ready to explore. This month's theme is, I bet you didn't guess it, explore. Go to http://www.lootcrate.com/legends and use the code LEGENDS to get $3 off your first crate today!
"After Midnight" by Kai Engel
"Delirium" by Kai Engel
"Silence" by Kai Engel
"Visum" by Kai Engel
"Oecumene Sleeps" by Kai Engel
"Crying Earth" by Kai Engel
"Dancing on the Edge" by Kai Engel
"Vik Fence Haflak" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Vik Fence Sahder" by Blue Dot Sessions
There is a monster that's worse than all other monsters. He's (literally) the father of monsters. His donkey-head scrapes the stars and his hands are a hundred snake heads. He was born for one singular purpose: to destroy the Olympians, and that's just what he'll do. His name is Typhon.
And that's just the first story today. Then we launch into the main story, about Theseus and the Amazons. We'll pick back up with our buddy Hercules as he's being terrible and get a background on the Amazons and see why you shouldn't do exactly what Theseus does.
The Shape of Water! Go see it in theaters. Check out the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFYWazblaUA
Casper: The most comfortable mattress I have ever used. Go to casper.com/legend and use the code LEGENDS to get $50 off your purchase.
Did you know you can listen to podcasts on Spotify? So...yeah, do that, because they have all the major ones, the app is polished and nice, and you're already going there for your music.
There is someone that isn't happy that the family of Zeus and Hera is sitting on Olympus. Well, there are many people that aren't happy about it. Actually most people except for Zeus and his family aren't thrilled about it. Even then, they all kind of hate each other.
Regardless, someone finally comes along to do something about Zeus and his ilk. Someone from their past...and she's coming with an army...an army that has the ability to finally put an end to the Olympians once and for all.
The creature this time is a jacked angry unicorn with fabulous hair.
If you have time, please go to http://takemysurvey.net and take a quick survey. It would be a massive help for me and Myths and Legends. Thank you!
"Tumult" by Kai Engel
"Periculum" by Kai Engel
"Tumbler" by Podington Bear
"Jackbird" by Blue Dot Sessions
"The Black Frame" by Rolemusic
Two stories of just terrible, terrible fathers from Greek mythology. The first is really only in the story for a few minutes, but helps to bring about two giants that could end his reign. The second is one who admits his mistake and takes pity on the boy before trying to do right by him. And it ends much, much worse than if he had done nothing at all.
The creature this time is an elephant unicorn who has one weird trick to make you feel strong. Hydras hate him.
"Aim is True"
"Hammer and Damper"
The land of giants. Jotunheim. The realm of the monstrous "other" from Norse myth. Thorstein grew up being told it was only a legend, and he probably thought as much...until he walked into it.
This is the epic saga of Thorstein Mansion-Might, a legendary Viking who is bigger than doors.
The creature this time is Dr. Big Bird. He's a big bird who is an ancient world doctor. That sounds impressive until you think that probably anyone alive today is qualified to be an ancient world doctor.
War Dragons: Check out our awesome team, just search for "TheVolsungs". You can download War Dragons for free today at http://www.wardragons.com/legends (be sure to go from a phone or tablet device, though.
Hello Fresh: We are seriously getting into Hello Fresh. You have to try it. It makes cooking easy, fun, and simple. It's by far my favorite meal service. Go to http://www.hellofresh.com/legends and use the code LEGENDS30 to get $30 off your first meal.
"Direct to Video" by Chris Zabriskie
"Cases to Rest" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Aim is True" by Podington Bear
"Boardwalk" by Podington Bear
"Chrysalis" by Podington Bear
"Degradation" by Podington Bear
"March" by Podington Bear
"Miss You" by Podington Bear
"Rubber Robot" by Podington Bear
"Tarnish" by Podington Bear
"These Times" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Well Water" by Blue Dot Sessions
Maui. Trickster. Demigod. Sometimes-fish.
Abandoned at birth but in the possession of great power, the story of Maui is the story of an underdog that came to help the human race in immeasurable ways: giving them fire, pulling up islands, making the day longer, killing monsters to give coconuts, and convincing the sun to give us some more time in the day...by beating him mercilessly with a fishhook.
The creature is a square hedgehog. It's yellow, and makes a terrible pet, because not only does it like to get your horses sick, but it's not remotely housebroken and enjoys urinating basically everywhere.
Check out War Dragons! My team is "TheVolsungs" and it seems like everyone on it is better than me. I'm not actually leader of my own team. Anyway, go to http://wardragons.com/legends from your phone or tablet device to check it out for free!
Loot Crate: November's theme is Unite 2.0. Sign up today to get awesome, exclusive loot to your house every month. You can go to http://www.lootcrate.com/legends to get $3 off your new subscription.
"So it Goes"
"Spring Comes Early"
"Surface Tension 1"
all by Podington Bear
The Day of the Wolf. The Doom of the Gods. The end of all things. It has many names, but one word encapsulates it all: Ragnarok. It's what Odin has been dreading and fighting. It's what Loki has been planning. It's the dark end of days where the worlds will drop into eternal night, giants will battle gods, and all will burn.
Check out War Dragons at http://wardragons.com/legends to start playing now, and you can join my group by searching for "TheVolsungs"
Lootcrate! Get 100% exclusive crates by going to http://lootcrate.com/legends and using the code legends to get $3 off your first crate today.
Werewolves are people that turn into wolves. Or they don't. Maybe they just wear a fancy wolf belt. Or maybe part of a wolf skin. Or maybe they just like to think they're a wolf. Or maybe they're just people that like killing. Werewolf stories are simple ones, but there's no simple answer as to why this thing happens. And it did. A lot. All throughout history there are stories of Werewolves, stretching back as far as Ancient Greece. As it turns out, humans being monstrous is as old as humanity itself.
The creature this time is the reason why you'll want to avoid the river if you see a ghostly woman crying out for her children. But if you're not already doing that, a podcast description won't save you.
Check out Hello Fresh! It's the best meal delivery service we've used. Go to HelloFresh.com and use the code LEGENDS30 so they know who sent you.
Also, check out Glynn Washington's new show, "Heaven's Gate"!
Clever Hans is clever. He knows the best way to store needles and knives and how to carry a goat in your pockets on long walks through the country. He's even getting married to Gretel, and we'll see how taking advice on wooing your fiancee from your mom can end up in way too much mutilation.
The second story is also about Hans! A different one. It's about cat chefs and following voices down into the dark places under the earth.
The creature is why you'll want to pack a lunch and brush up on some cicada-speak (protip: it's just buzzing) the next time you plan on stealing from the guardians of the forest.
Check out the very awesome Lore, now streaming on Amazon Video
This month's Loot Crate theme is Mythical! Check it out and get $3 off your new subscription today by going to http://www.lootcrate.com/legends and using the code LEGENDS
The conclusion to the dwarf with the long beard, a story about a dwarf. And a long beard. And entering the ear canals of magic horses for fun and profit. We'll see the epic struggle between brothers come to an end, as well as a powerful argument in favor of facial hair.
The creature this time is big, warm cat named Big Ears! He has Big Ears! And an army of demonic cats to do his will!
Loot. Crate. We share the first four letters of this month's crate, because the theme is Mythical! Check it out, and get $3 off your first crate by going to http://www.lootcrate.com/legends and using the code LEGENDS
LORE. Lore is going to be a TV series. Really soon. In fact, it comes out THIS FRIDAY! If you love scary stories from folklore well, watch this show. Here is the trailer. Watch it now. Do it.
Link to the Lore trailer: https://www.mythpodcast.com/12873/85b-slavic-folklore-hold-on-to-your-hat/
"Remember Trees" by Chris Zabriskie
"I Should have been more human" by Chris Zabriskie
"Shake It" by Jahzzar
"Denouement" by Kai Engel
"Warbled Reflection" by Podington Bear
"Den" by Podington Bear
"The Telling" by Blue Dot Sessions
"White Limit" by Blue Dot Sessions
Today's story comes from Slavic folklore and it was so much fun. It's surprisingly complex and full of magic, love, and a sleazy little kidnapper who just can't catch a break.
Did you know cotton balls were vegetarian friendly snacks? I mean, they're also living things, but they are primarily plants. They taste like old fish and/or honey, but they are low cholesterol so, you know, there's that.
Check out Casper for the most comfortably mattress you will ever sleep on. Go to http://www.casper.com/legends and use the code LEGENDS to get $50 off your first order.
"Vanagon" by Podington Bear
"Qi" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Waypoint 7" by Blue Dot Sessions
"We Drive Three Days" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Old Regrets" by Lee Rosevere
"The Secret to Growing Up" by Lee Rosevere
Threes are everywhere in folklore, and today we look at stories where they feature the most prominently: The three bears, the three little pigs, and Cinderella. The tales told and adapted for children children, the three pigs and Cinderella, are extremely bloody and unforgiving, while the one that was originally for adults - the three bears - is about three very chill best bear friends enjoying a fun afternoon before dealing with a deeply psychologically troubled intruder.
The creature this time adds to our list of mythpodcats...and it's further proof that, given half a chance at victory, your cat wouldn't hesitate to kill you.
Hello Fresh was fantastic. You can try it for yourself and get $30 of your first order by going to http://www.hellofresh.com and using the code LEGENDS30 when you subscribe.
Every episode of Myths and Legends (and now Fictional!) is on Spotify! Check out http://www.spotify.com/podcasts to find so many great shows.
"Associations" by Podington Bear
"Don't Go" by Podington Bear
"In My Head" by Podington Bear
"Rope Swing" by Podington Bear
"As I was Saying" by Lee Rosevere
"More on That Later" by Lee Rosevere
"Alphabet Soup" by Podington Bear
"Relinquish" by Podington Bear
The "Tale of Tales" is a very famous, moderately deranged collection of folklore from 16th century Italy. It's by the author Giambattista Basile, a storyteller who traveled the Mediterranean region collecting stories. The collection known as "Tale of Tales" follows a similar framing narrative to "1001 Nights", with the storyteller telling the king stories in a very loosely-connected fashion.
I'm not even going to say the titles for today's stories, but they are two of the most famous in the collection and wildly unpredictable. They're gross, violent, weird, and interesting - so, basically like everyday life.
The creature is a man...who is a bat. But he's not Batman, because Batman can't handle this little guy's intensity.
Find so many awesome books on Audible. Check it out at http://www.audible.com/myths
Check out Myths and Legends on Spotify by going to http://www.spotify.com/podcasts
"Sad Marimba Planet" by Lee Rosevere
"Are we Loose Yet?" by Blue Dot Sessions
"August (Summer Nights)" by Kai Engel
"November Mist" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Shiny" by Podington Bear
"Yellow Dust" by Rolemusic
"Swapping Tubes" by Blue Dot Sessions
"In the Back Room" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Petaluma" by Blue Dot Sessions
We have to go deeper.
Well, for Scheherazade to survive, she always has to have another level of story to go to - she always has to have another layer of protection, to keep the king interested or her story might end with the rising of the sun.
Luckily the king is very easy to impress because these stories are bananas.
The creature is a funny little guy who just wants to wash his beans in piece. Or eat you. Depending on how playful he's feeling.
Every episode of Myths and Legends (and now Fictional!) is available on Spotify. To check it out, go to http://spotify.com/podcasts.
"Myrian" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Pieces" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Slimm" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Sage the Hunter" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Venndet" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Fits" by Podington Bear
"Glitter" by Podington Bear
"Samara" by Podington Bear
(Have you checked out Fictional? Check out Fictional! There are three episodes waiting for you. Go to https://fictional.fm for more info.)
The collection known as "Arabian Nights" actually has an overarching story. And it is...interesting. Full of djinn, demons, kings, and slaves, it's an incredibly interesting way to set up one of the best known collections of folklore. The framing narrative (a way to set up a story-within-a-story) is actually much more interesting than many of the stories it sets up, with betrayal, trickery, and probably the most sex and violence we've encountered so far on this podcast.
The creature this time is a wise old owl...who doesn't have a problem bringing it in the fight against demons trying to steal your fingernail clippings.
Loot Crate! August's box was great, and September's looks even better with the theme of Robotic. Check out http://lootcrate.com/legends (code LEGENDS) to get $3 off your first crate.
Spotify: Find the world's most popular podcasts on Spotify. Check out http://www.spotify.com/podcasts
"Changing Reality" by Kai Engel
"Modum" by Kai Engel
"All the Colors in the world" by Podington Bear
"Don't Go" by Podington Bear
"Everybody" by Podington Bear
"Falling Falling" by Podington Bear
"Turning to You" by Blue Dot Sessions
"When in the West" by Blue Dot Sessions
An episode with a story from Scandinavia about trolls. Not the internet kind. No, these are the less annoying ones that will murder you in the forest.
Two creatures this week! And they are dogs! And Myths and Legends will ruin dogs for you, too!
Check out http://www.audible.com/myths for a free 30-day trial membership (and to get a free audible book). If you play your cards right, you could get 62 hours of Stephen Fry narrating Sherlock Holmes. I was an English major so this will only be a rough estimate, but I believe that breaks down to $0/per hour to listen to Sherlock Holmes for 62 hours. Audible has a massive catalog, excellent actors, and exclusive content. Check them out.
Also, we're on Spotify! Go to http://spotify.com/podcasts and find us down in the storytellers category. It's a great app and an excellent way to find the most popular shows.
**Have you subscribed to Fictional yet? You'll love it! Two episodes are waiting for you at http://apple.fictional.fm, http://google.fictional.fm, http://stitcher.fictional.fm, or wherever you get your podcasts**
Wrapping up the story of Perseus, we'll see that fated confrontation with the eternally cosmetologically-challenged monster, Medusa, as well as fall in love. Turns out it's really easy to meet people when they are imprisoned beneath you. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
The creature this time is the gargoyle, which ages phenomenally...because it's in indestructible dragon head. Unlike the monsters from that 90s cartoon that was awesome at the time but which did not age well at all...
Spotify is a great place to find your podcasts. They have a sleek app and all the top shows. Check it out at http://www.spotify.com/podcasts
To get a free meal with Blue Apron, the number one fresh ingredient and recipe delivery service in the country, check out http://www.blueapron.com/legends.
"Thematic" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Doghouse" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Are We Loose Yet?" by Blue Dot Sessions
"A Simple Blur" by Blue Dot Sessions
"A Palace of Cedar" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Sensitive" by Podington Bear
"Small Pond" by Gurdonark
"Quantum Field Theory" by Rolemusic
Hey! Have you subscribed to Fictional? Go subscribe to Fictional! You'll love it, and it will be an amazingly huge help to us. Thank you!!
You can find it at:
http://apple.fictional.fm for Apple Podcasts
http://google.fictional.fm for Google Play
http://stitcher.fictional.fm for Stitcher
Medusa is probably the most misunderstood villain in all of Greco-Roman Mythology, famous only for being a monster...and the hero's quest to kill her. We'll learn all about her background and follow the quest of one fated to clash with her. Also this is Greek mythology so everyone is terrible all the time always.
The creature this week is the floating head and he's kind of like Pac-man...if Pac-man had a taste for people and delicious chestnuts.
Lootcrate! The theme for this month's crate is Kingdom, with stuff from Adventure Time, Lord of the Rings, and the Legend of Zelda. Check out http://www.lootcrate.com/legends code LEGENDS, to get $3 off any new subscription today.
Spotify: My preferred way of listening to podcasts, check out spotify.com/podcasts to get started there today.
"Toppler" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Soothe" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Seamless" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Partly Sage" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Old Skin" by Podington Bear
"Little Dipper" by Podington Bear
"Astrisx" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Comet Trails" by Moon
"Orbs of Light" by Moon
Non-graphic talk of Zeus impregnating a woman by turning into a shower of gold (?) and non-graphic talk of how Poseidon raped a woman and then the woman was blamed for it because she was irresistible.
We're back in the cold, unforgiving north, at the very beginning of Odin's reign. We'll see him meet a new friend while being completely unsuspicious in giant land, a threat come from another world to try to topple the Aesir, and the lengths Odin will go to in order to gain power, acquire knowledge, and thwart his coming doom.
The creature this week is an antlion. When a mommy ant and a daddy lion love each other very much, they think of ways to express their love and, well, you'll see...
The Loot Crate this month just sounds awesome. The theme is Kingdom, with stuff from Lord of the Rings, Adventure Time, and Legend of Zelda. I know I'm excited about it. Check out http://www.lootcrate.com/legends (code LEGENDS) to get $3 off any new subscription
Our Casper is the most comfortable mattress we've ever had. Check out http://www.casper.com/legends to get $50 off your first order.
"The Nightmare" by Lee Rosevere
"Not Alone" by Lee Rosevere
"Sad Marimba Planet" by Lee Rosevere
"Twirl Into Insanity" by Keshco
"Decompression" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Bogero" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Pukae" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Midday" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Sunset at Goat Fell" by Graham Bole
"Rooftop" by Jahzzar
Starting at the beginning of the universe and going to the beginning of the epic and mildly disturbing battles between Set and his nephew Horus, Egyptian mythology is epic, funny, interesting, and bizarre. It's taken way too long to get into this mythology, and I'm excited to dive in.
The creature has no problem diving in...to your mouth. As a newt. Things really only go downhill from there.
Check out http://www.blueapron.com/legends (code LEGENDS) to get your first three meals free from Blue Apron!
The story of a dark (well, dark-ish. Actually, kind of not even that. You'll see.) prophecy, a kingdom overrun by monsters (again, kind of), and one woman's globe spanning quest to do what's right (that's pretty much correct). Also, pig plague parties are only fun if you're a talking swine with a moderately sinister agenda.
The creature this time is the Alkutane, from the folklore of the Pacific Northwest, in the US. These creatures will leave fun little baubles by your ear. Oops. My bad, I meant to say bubbles. Bubbles filled with your undigested brains. And they're not fun.
Simplisafe! I have, no joke, been using Simplisafe for over a year. It's a fantastic system where you don't have to have someone come out to your house and try to hard sell you on a security system and then lock you in to a contract for years. You set it up yourself, it uses its own cellular signal with a battery backup (in case the power goes out) so you don't need to get an expensive hardwired phone line to your house, and all for $15 a month. Check it out at https://www.simplisafe.com/listen for $100 off the special Safeguard package.
"Vanagon" by Podington Bear
"Trellis" by Podington Bear
"TrailwaysA" by Podington Bear
"Bambi" by Podington Bear
"Daemones" by Kai Engel
"Modum" by Kai Engel
"Locked Up" by Fleslit
"Cach" by Blue Dot Sessions
The story of Atalanta is one of the woman who just couldn't be stopped...and of a world that had a big, big problem with that. Giant monster fights, meddling gods, and well-known heroes make an appearance in the story of a heroine who just can't be kept down.
The creature this week is Al, from North Africa, and he's a great reason to not run with scissors.
RXBAR Kids: These delicious bars are actually full of good stuff. Check them out at Target or at http://www.rxbar.com/legends and use code LEGENDS at checkout for 25% off your first order.
"Gringo Steele Rocks the 40" by Rolemusic
"Death on the Battlefield" by Rolemusic
"Seventh Hill" by Podington Bear
"Vengeful" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Tuck and Point" by Blue Dot Sessions
"The Cast and Favor" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Set the Tip Jar" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Mercurial Vision" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Lemon and Melon" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Andelo" by Blue Dot Sessions